Midget Knows Best
by readerwriterthinker
Summary: "How do you know this stuff?" I asked."Please, you're my role model and I'm related to Mom; I'm a badass like you and I have her super scary ability to know about everything that goes on with people." She shrugged. My sister was a midget-super-ninja-spy!


**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Glee.**

**Puck's Point Of View**

This was bull. Lauren dumped me and we weren't even dating! Who does that? And her reason; stupidest fricking reason in the world. I slammed the front door shut and stomped up the stairs.

"Noah, is something wrong?" Ma called after me.

"Leave me alone" I muttered. I sure as hell didn't want to talk to my mom about this stuff. How I was dumped before I even dated the girl. What she said about- AH! I can't believe that bitch! How the hell did she know what was going on in my head. That wasn't even true! There was no way I-

My thought was interrupted by a knock on my door. "I told you to leave me alone!" I shouted through my bedroom door.

"It's me," came a small voice through the door; Ariella.

"What do you need Ari? I'm not in the mood," I said opening the door for my little sister.

"Girl problems?" she asked looking up at me. I gave her a confused look, how does she do that? "Please, I've grown up with you, I know you better then you know yourself." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to my bed shutting the door behind her.

"So who is it this time, Santana, Lauren, Rachel, another random one, Quinn, please don't say it's Quinn she's a bitch," she said sitting cross-legged at the foot of my bed. "Then again, so is Santana. And frankly, Lauren scares me."

"You're ten," I said in disbelief, not only at the fact that she knew about every girl in my life, but also at her language. Maybe Ma was right; I should watch my mouth around her.

"Right, now that we've established my age can we move on?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, Lauren broke up with me," I said.

"Would it be rude and insensitive for me to say 'thank Jew-god'?" She cocked her head. I let out a small laugh and pushed her shoulder lightly. "I told you, she scares me! But I do have another question. If you can laugh at me saying that, than why are you angry and upset?"

I sighed and flopped backwards onto my bed stretching out and kicking my shoes off the side of the bed. Ari laid down next to me, cuddling herself to my side. I don't know why we did that but whenever we talked or after she had a bad dream that's how we ended up.

"What she said when we broke up," I said simply, wrapping my arm around her.

"What'd she say?" Ari asked flipping herself so she was half lying on the bed, half lying on my chest looking at me.

"That I was in love with someone else. That I was in love with- exact words- Crazy psycho Berry who's going to end up getting killed in New York because she's too nice to people. Who says that about someone; especially when you're breaking up with someone?" I asked.

"I could have told you that! Well, not the killing part because that better not happen to Rachel or I'll be _really _sad," she said.

"I know, wait, what the hell? You could have told me that?" I said sitting up she moved back to her previous position but this time we were both cross-legged and our knees were touching.

She laughed and shook her head. "I know I'm ten but I'm not stupid. Think about it Noah. Rachel was your first real girlfriend and every relationship you've had after that has had to live up to that one," she shrugged.

"What are you talking about Midget?" I said cocking an eyebrow at her.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Noah, I'm quite observant, and you talk in your sleep," she giggled. "Your relationship with Rachel, even though it only lasted like a week- you were Noah that whole week and you loved it. She believed in you, didn't try to change you, let you make the choice between glee and football. You've tried to mold every relationship after that after that one. You sang Sweet Caroline to her, don't think I didn't hear you sing that song under your breath all week Noah," she smirked when I threw her a confused look. "After that you figured that'd be the best way to woo any girl. You sang to Mercedes, Quinn, Lauren; although, you kind of insulted all of them in their songs." She paused and made a face. "You called Mercedes a tramp. You called Lauren fat. And well, Quinn's song wasn't even to her, it was to Beth. Plus, Rachel's the only one you actually dated to date, you know? Mercedes was for popularity, Quinn because of Beth, Santana because of sex, which mom totally knows about by the way, and well I hate to break it to you brother, but the only reason you liked Lauren is because she's the only girl who's said 'no' to you. And heaven forbid someone say no to 'Puck'" she said putting air quotes around my nickname. I stared at her in disbelief. My sister knew this? Midget was a super-ninja-spy or something.

"Wait, I dated Rachel to get Ma off my back about dating a 'nice Jewish girl'," I reminded her.

Ari raised her eyebrows, "No you didn't. When do you ever do something for Mom? You dated her because you dreamed about her, she's the only girl you've ever had a dream about."

"How do you know about that?" I asked her. She _was _a midget-super-ninja-spy!

"I already told you, you talk in your sleep." She shook her head. "You like Rachel, you have since you slushied her in 8th grade to protect her from that senior who wanted to 'get in her pants'. You kept doing it cause everyone expected you to."

"How do you know this stuff?" I asked.

"Please, you're my role model and I'm related to Mom; I'm a badass like you and I have her super scary ability to know about everything that goes on with people." She shrugged. I nodded that actually made a lot of sense. "Also, you try and give something to each of the girls now since you gave Rachel a grape slushy. I mean you got Mercedes that gross coffee drink-well you tried to but you got distracted and it ended up just sitting in your backpack, you didn't really get Quinn anything, but you gave her a place to stay and told her you loved her, which for her totally counts, and for Lauren you got her a ring-pop, which was _mine_ by the way." She glared at me.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"There are some differences though, between Rachel and your other relationships. Rachel's the only one you've actually stuck up for, she's the only one you've gotten jealous of," she smirked.

"When?" I asked.

"Well, you said you wanted to beat the crap out of that Jesse kid who Rachel dated, you told Santana that you 'kind of liked her'. Hey, I'm ten, I eavesdrop; it's what I do! You told Mom," she said when I raised an eyebrow. "Rachel's the only one you've actually really cared about, aside from Quinn, but my theory is you just cared that Beth was inside her. You moved that glist thing from her locker, you wanted to make sure she was okay after she found out about Finn and Santana. You're the one who notices when she's missing from Glee and stuff. God, listen you talk about _everything_ in your sleep!" she sighed frustrated as I gave her yet another confused look. "Plus, you're still singing that Need you now song under your breath when you make breakfast for us in the morning; either that, or Sweet Caroline."

"Damn, I have it bad don't I?" I asked her. Ari smiled and nodded.

"There are also things you only let her do; like call you Noah in public, or make you sing girly songs. You stopped being a bully at school when you dated her, you didn't do that for anyone else," she reminded me. "She's the only one you've ever been jealous of too. You couldn't stand that she broke up with you because she liked Finn."

"That's not true! I got jealous of him and Quinn too! Well, I mean, I'm a badass I don't get jealous, but you know what I mean," I said.

Ari smiled and shook her head, "No, you got jealous of the fact that he was going to be the one raising your daughter."

I looked at her and sighed, "When did you get so smart?"

"Well I certainly don't take after my big brother" she smirked.

I laughed, "Oh come here you!" I said pulling her into my lap and tickling her.

"Noah! - Noah stop! - Ahh! Noah!" she said in between laughs.

I stopped and she turned around to face me. "So Midget, what do I do now?" I asked.

"I'd start with calling her," she said handing me my phone.

"How'd you get this?" I asked taking it.

"You dropped it on your way upstairs. Why'd you think I came to your door anyway? I don't like talking to you!" she said making a face. I laughed and pushed her shoulder again.

"Okay super-ninja-spy, out so I can call her and _no listening._" I said as she climbed off my bed and walked toward the door.

She turned around and smirked, "I don't have to, I'm sure I'll hear all about it tonight while you're sleeping. Oh, and don't forget, midget knows best!" And with that she walked out of my room.

Crazy midget-ninja-spy, she's going to be one hell of a teenager. I looked down at my phone and just as I was about to call Rachel my phone lit up with an incoming call.

**Incoming Call…**

***Rachel Berry***

I looked at the door quickly, crazy-midget-ninja-spy-_psychic_? I shook my head and answered the phone.

"Hey Rachel," I said.

"Noah, I have to tell you something," She said.

"My thoughts exactly," I smirked. Midget did know best.

**Author's Note: Okay so I really have no idea where this came from, but I'm REALLY proud of it so you should definitely leave reviews for me. Thanks again guys!**

**~ReaderWriterThinker**


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